Satanic Christians
© Paulo Bittencourt
Did the dear reader know that Christians are Satanists? No? Well, they are. And I can prove it, using the very holy book they claim to follow. It’s easier than popping a soap bubble, or destroying a sandcastle.
As Jack the Ripper used to say, let’s go part by part.
Assuming the accounts in the book of Acts are true, it’s evident that the original Christians didn’t get involved in politics. And why? Because they wanted to live as Christ commanded. Isn’t that what it means to be a Christian? For example, “they sold their property and possessions and shared the money with those in need” (Acts 2:45). After all, they were waiting for their Master, who promised to return at any moment.
Jesus declared that his kingdom and, consequently, his followers are not of this world (John 18:36 and 17:16). Hebrews 11 says that the Heroes of Faith (Abraham, Moses, etc.) were “foreigners and strangers on earth” who “were longing for a better country — a heavenly one”. In John 12:31 and 16:11, the Nazarene calls Satan “the ruler of this world”. Apostle Paul is no less emphatic: in 2 Corinthians 4:4, he calls the Devil “the god of this world”.
In chapter 4 of his book, the prophet Daniel states that God “rules over the kingdoms of the world and gives them to anyone he wishes”. In other words, Democracy is a ridiculous, unbiblical illusion, since the Almighty is the one who distributes power and determines who should govern which country. Confirming the Old Testament, Paul warns:
Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God. Anyone who rebels against authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and they will be punished.(Romans 13:1-2)
At least ten times, the New Testament emphasizes that God has an “eternal plan”, since it was laid out even before Earth was created, and nothing happens that disrupts it, that is, is not part of God’s Plan, whose outcome is the return of Jesus, destruction of this — by the way, cursed and doomed — world and establishment of the New Earth (2 Peter 3:13 and Revelation 21:1).
Well, then, if the kingdom and followers of Jesus are not of this world (since, being under the dominion of Satan, its ruler and god, Christians are pilgrims, that is, are only passing through, anxiously waiting to live in the heavenly fatherland), if rulers and authorities come from the Almighty, if everything happens according to God’s Plan (which must be fulfilled) and if Jesus is about to return at any moment (to destroy this world and establish the New Earth), Christians who engage in politics, that is, run for office with slogans of the type “God Above All” (as did the “terribly Evangelical” Jair Bolsonaro, in Brazil) or see such candidates as sent by God to protect Christian values, defend the family and save the fatherland, are worshipers of Beelzebub, since they fight against God’s Plan and strive to perpetuate Satan’s kingdom.
There. I’ve proven that Christians are Satanists.
“In the formation of hypocrites, of all ideologies Christianity is the champion.”